He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
I don't know, I kept pretending that I was riding an elephant during. It was actually really fun, but you can't tell him that!
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
Randomize
