his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
