that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
I don't work there anymore. If they had Prince themed dildo parties i never would have quit
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
Randomize