You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
There is a woman in the bar breastfeeding a baby. Doing shots. Gotta love maryland Applebees.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
like, is this a date?? I'm sitting on his couch drinking a juice box while he makes taquitos in sweat pants
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Randomize
