why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I was giving him a handjob in the woods and a family walked by
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