I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
Randomize