dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Walt said he was feeding me so I wouldn't die. that's why there was pasta in my room
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
