what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
It's a sad day when ur phone automatically updates u on Thursdays that traffic is normal and how long it will take to get to the bar
That's fucking great actually
My mom just came upstairs handed me an Adderall and asked if I could help her wash the ceilings
Randomize
