At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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