Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
If I had a nickel for every time somebody called me a bad person I would have enough money to check into rehab
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
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