Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I will come over now to take full advantage of you in your vulnerable state.
Fine. I should warn you I just threw up in danas fish tank. Fish are dead. Livers dead. I smell and look like a dead animal. And not showering. So deal with it.
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
We need a shit load of segways right now
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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