I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My brain says no but my pants say off.
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
She kept saying my hands are a cupcake factory
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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