she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
