Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
