Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
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