WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fuck. That. I'm gonna get drunker and make them regret they EVER put me at the kids table. I'm a MAN.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Put cigar in mouth backwards. Plz remind to check for scar in morning, can't feel it now. Screwdrivers are like morphine.
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We don't have paper towels so I microwaved a spinach/egg sandwich thingy wrapped in toilet paper. Toilet paper. so that's how my day started.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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