I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I think I ruined Robin and Mikes anniversary. I walked in on them fucking, accidentally broke the necklace he gave her, and I stole the keg from their party. Not in that order
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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