i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
we just got in the car and birthday sex is playing
that is a sign the 3 of us should have a threesome
we agree. completely
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He walked upstairs in nothing but his boxers and drunkenly asked my brother for a condom....so much for a good first impression.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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