You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
Randomize
