Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
complete strangers are now referring to me as 'the bourbon guy.' i can live with this.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
