I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
Randomize
