Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
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