she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
It's just like the Real World with babies
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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