it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Okay throwing up in my mouth a little = time to go home
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
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