Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
I'm so hungover even the car commercials make me nauseas
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
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