WIFE SWAP. FAMILY OF MIDGETS. LIFETIME. NOW.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
No no this isn't that fun. I'm alone drinking wine and me and the dogs ran out of things to talk about around 9 am.
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
