just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
i'm exhausted. do you know how hard it is to put together an outfit that is professional enough to secure a babysitting job yet slutty enough to let him know i'm down for sex during naptime?
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
Randomize
