We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
started her walk of shame as my mom and dad walked through my common room door...my dad held the door for her and told her to have a nice day
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
