We're like a lot better than the average bears
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
Randomize
