No period for spring break; use this wisely.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
