I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
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