I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
