And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
I just apologized to a wet floor sign i walked into.
Randomize