I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
