My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
this is a mass text: the cage has been opened. repeat, the cage has been opened. a search party will be organized. you are all sloppy bitches. that is all.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
