I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
dude, my face is all kinds of fucked up right now. and don't even start with i told you so...
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
