Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
She got stuck in the front door. She never told me how or why.
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
I don't remember its real name, I just call it the Harrison Ford Cush after that idea with the Indiana Jones mask. I should just get high and sell people my ideas for their Halloween costumes all the time. I'd make a fucking fortune.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
He said he was a banker. Then he told me he made 15 an hour. I said he was a shitty banker then fucked his friend.
there was a goddamn geisha at house. my dick feels more cultured.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Didn't know my clit could produce that many orgasms in one night. Fuck my husband; think I might have to become a lesbian.
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