so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
um i just went through the in-n-out drive thru and meant to ask for my cheeseburger animal style. turns out what i actually said was, can i get that cheeseburger doggy style? been a rough weekend.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
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When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
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