i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
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