omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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