3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
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