I feel like I've been hit by a train. I woke up this morning covered in wine, free condoms, and a sign language dictionary.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
Is it bad that I was more upset about not getting the perfume he told me he had bought for me then the actual breakup?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
My arms are still sore. Apparently, lube wrestling is the best workout ever.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Successfully put eye drops in while driving with my glasses on. Stoner level: expert
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
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