It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Did you seriously just hashtag my sex life as #yolo2013?
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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