we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
so this carnie looked at me and said "the ride in my pants is funner." i wet myself.
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
I'm on a party bus with a stripper pole with middle aged women who have all started drinking
God bless your soul.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I sent her a dick pic and used brett Favre's dick pick. She asked me why I had pictures of old men's dicks saved on my phone... I just can't win bro
Randomize
