this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
P.s. I loved that your balls smelled like coconut
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
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