hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
bro i finally banged her last night on our basement couch
I'm at this frat party right now and yelled "my little 16 year old brother finally lost his virginity." They gave you a standing ovation
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
What we have is to special to throw away over a woman who spreads her butt cheeks on a pool table for me...
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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