he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
If I didn't have booty calls, my apartment would never get clean
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