so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
whenever he goes down on me he looks at me and I just want to poke him in the eyes
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
