I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
Randomize
