hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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