my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
Only at Harvard can you walk in on a bunch of stoners and expect everyone to immediately stand up, shake your hand and introduce themselves like we're at a fucking job fair
Is "I want you to destroy my insides" too forward?
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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