i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
YOU WILL GIVE ME MASHED POTATOES OR I WILL RIP YOUR SOUL INTO 7 PIECES AND YOU WILL TURN INTO LORD VOLDEMORT
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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