come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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