I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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