No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
