New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
I think I just snorted head and shoulders by mistake.
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
It's gonna be ok. As we grow older we sometimes lose sight of what's important to us. Like safe sex. And standards.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize
