found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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