I'm at the doctor and the male nurse (haha) asked me if I smoked, drank or did drugs, and when he said 'drugs' he looked me right in the eye and did a perfect wrist rocket.
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
