you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
Randomize
