so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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