If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used puppy pads next to the couch for her to throw up on....
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got cockblocked by my GF's wedding shower... That's a first. And I have to buy a gift.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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