he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
giving a 30 min presentation still drunk is like giving birth, upside down in a pit of snakes while being on fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
his finger was half off and he was more concerned that he wasnt at home shooting cucumbers out of his potato gun.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
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