pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
That's when you crack a 10am beer
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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